Friends or Me?

Friends!?
Who are they,
Why we need friends,
Where are there when I need them,
How many friends truly know me,
Why are my friends not wishing me happy birthday😭,
Do they know that I exist,
Wonder do they even remember me,
Friends!?
Are they really care for you,

OR

Me?
Was it because I'm not close to them,
We didn't shared to be my friend,
We didn't shared story or secrets,
I didn't supported you,
I didn't back you up,
I didn't been there,
I didn't been understanding your situation,
I have been showing off
Throwing money just to get my friendship
Helping friends with no return ,
But their return is destroy the bond,
Wrong tactic to talk,
Wrong minded
Wrong and criminally minded,
To the state of suicides
No friends or partner to express my feelings or problem,
Family are bigger patch
Most time talking to self and no clue whom is right and wrong
Blog is where I expressed my self

During the Night

I cry every night knowing that I am loner, no body would care to ask "how are you feeling today?" I cry everytime because I have feel I have bad life. All of my friends never seems to care about me. As I have know and care for them as I have always asking how are they and wondering if they have problems that they want me to hear. Guess no one want me to hear their problem. Every night or should I say early morning 3 am to 4am, that is the time I sleep and the time for some to about to wake up. Every time I look at picture about people who sleep late and they will caption it saying people who sleep late is a single( which I am).
I do not have anyone to talk too, enjoy and have fun. As time goes by friends will slowing forget you and find new and better friends. Some friends do not remember my birthday whereby I always remember their which it hurts to feel how they can forget Birthday dates😭. This is

I always think to myself that i love some on, but knowing that i could love someone is for real. As i think deeper to my future i found out that i could not love anyone at all as in girlfriend. My mind is like my best friend to me. Everyone will say i am crazy and all, well i am if i am alone with no one to talk to. I was ignored by most of my friends, kept me in the shadow, getting the "latest news", "latest feedback". Now i am in trouble getting to know my friends. Is it my problem of not being able to socialize?
Just today i have screw someones trust and love. Playing with some one i know. which now i will get my own punishment for playing with girls feelings. And people who read this will start to hate me for who am i. I can admit that i am a weird person and and idiot person. This blog is where i release my feeling about my life (rarely post) and all this sad, anger and all the negative problem that i have being in this life. which is not suppose to be, Blog is supposed to be positive and promoting ads. i will do my best to post fun and exciting post.